In Pursuit of Being an Old Happily Married Couple

I’d like to be happily married to Molly for a long time. I want to participate in a faithful and beautiful picture of Jesus’ love for his church. I would love nothing more than to be an old, wrinkled, married couple.

Happily Married

Two things this past week wonderfully motivated me to pursue this goal.

First, Wendy Plump’s courageously honest article, A Roomful of Yearning and Regret, motivated me through negative example. Her beautiful writing exposes the pain and destruction that comes from tearing up a marriage with unfaithfulness and adultery. The whole post is worth reading, but I loved the way she compared her parents’ long-time marriage to her own failures:

I look at my parents and at how much simpler their lives are at the ages of 75, mostly because they haven’t marred the landscape with grand-scale deceit. They have this marriage of 50-some years behind them, and it is a monument to success. A few weeks or months of illicit passion could not hold a candle to it.

If you imagine yourself in such a situation, where would you fit an affair in neatly? If you were 75, which would you rather have: years of steady if occasionally strained devotion, or something that looks a little bit like the Iraqi city of Fallujah, cratered with spent artillery?

The second was a positive motivation, through Andrew Peterson’s beautiful song and video, Dancing in the Minefields (below). Peterson is one of my favorite singer-songwriters and this song gives you a picture of his brilliance. He compares marriage to dancing in minefields — it’s harder than we dream, but that’s what the promise (God’s to us and ours to each other) is for.

One of the best questions you can ask when developing a vision for something is, “What story do I want to tell?”

When it comes to marriage, I would rather tell a story that involves holding Molly’s wrinkled hand and passing a legacy of faithfulness to our grandchildren than a story of shattered dreams and selfishness. I imagine most of us would.

This is easier said than done — after all, marriage is surrounded by minefields. May God give me, and us, the grace to imitate the faithfulness of Jesus.

Published by

Luke Simmons

I was born and raised in Denver, CO and lived there through high school. Then I moved to Champaign, IL where I attended the University of Illinois and played on the Fighting Illini baseball team. I was married in December, 2001 to Molly, who I met at the U of I. In June of 2002, we moved to Phoenix and have been here ever since. In July of 2006, we welcomed a baby girl, Abby, into our family.

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